Keeping calm during conflict with others Te noho tau i te wā o te raru ki ētahi atu

Video transcript: Keeping calm during conflict

[Audio/Visual: Gentle music starts playing as a blue introduction screen with wording the “business.govt.nz presents” displayed in white text in the centre of the screen. The music plays throughout the video.] 
 
[Visual: The wording changes on the blue screen to “Brave in business e-learning series” displayed in white text in the centre of the screen. Screen changes to show the introduction presenter Kim Tay in the centre of the screen. On the bottom left-hand side of the screen the presenter’s name “Kim Tay” is displayed in white text. The text “Kim Tay” disappears from screen. On the bottom right-hand side of the screen the “business.govt.nz” logo is displayed in white text. The logo remains in place for the entire video.] 
 
[Audio: Introduction presenter, Kim Tay speaks.] 

Welcome to video two.

[Visual: Screen zooms in slightly to show the introduction presenter Kim Tay at a closer angle.]

We’ll all experience conflict at some point, whether it’s with clients, suppliers or others. Knowing how to calm down when conflict happens is really important.  

In this video, Stephanie will give us tips on how to do this.  

[Audio/Visual: The music loudens as the screen changes to display a blue screen with the title “Keeping calm during conflict" displayed in large bold white text in the centre of the screen. Beneath the title is the sub-title text “with Stephanie Rumble” and “The Wellbeing Works” in smaller white text. Music quietens as screen changes to show the main presenter Stephanie Rumble in the centre of screen. On the bottom left-hand side of the screen the text “Stephanie Rumble” is displayed in small white text. The text “Stephanie Rumble” disappears from screen.] 

[Visual: The title text “Recognise your triggers” appears centrally on the left-hand side of the presenter in large white text. The text “Recognise your triggers” disappears from screen.] 

Tip 1:  
Recognize your triggers. What upsets you in a stressful situation?  Recognising those triggers is super important. They could be physical or verbal. Your trigger could be someone shouting, swearing, pointing their finger at you, or maybe someone shoving you. Get to know your triggers. 

[Visual: Screen zooms in slightly to show the presenter Stephanie Rumble at a closer angle. The title text “Realise when you’re starting to stress” appears centrally on the left-hand side of the presenter in large white text. The text “Realise when you’re starting to stress” disappears from screen.] 

Tip 2:  
Realise when you’re starting to stress. When you stress, the emotional part of your brain takes over and you stop thinking rationally. When we get stressed, we usually do one of three things. We fight, meaning we talk a lot. We take flight, meaning we run away. Or we freeze, meaning we stop in our tracks. Recognising which response you have is important so you can stop it happening. 

These two things, responding to triggers and starting to stress, happen within 10 seconds, so you need to act quickly. This is where tip 3 comes in.

[Visual: Screen changes to show the presenter Stephanie Rumble on the right-hand side of the screen. The title text “Take steps to calm down” appears centrally on the left-hand side of the presenter in large white text. The text “Take steps to calm down” disappears from screen.] 

Tip 3: 
Take steps to calm down. There are three things you can do here.  

[Visual: The text “Breathe slowly” appears centrally on the left-hand side of the presenter in large white text. The text “Breathe slowly” disappears from screen. Screen changes to show the presenter Stephanie Rumble in the centre of the screen.]

One is to breathe slowly. Breathe in slowly for three seconds, hold your breath for three, and exhale for three.  

[Visual: The text “Notice what’s around you” appears centrally on the left-hand side of the presenter in large white text. The text “Notice what’s around you” disappears from screen.] 

The second thing is to notice what’s around you. Feel your feet on the ground. Smell, listen, and see what's around you.  

[Visual: Screen zooms in slightly to show the presenter Stephanie Rumble at a closer angle. The text “I haven’t caused this” appears centrally on the left-hand side of the presenter in large white text. The text “I haven’t caused this” disappears from screen.] 

The last thing you can do is to tell yourself you haven’t caused this, because everyone is in charge of their own emotions. 

[Visual: Screen changes to show the presenter Stephanie Rumble on the right-hand side of the screen. The text “Put yourself in the other person’s shoes” appears centrally on the left-hand side of the presenter in large white text. The text “Put yourself in the other person’s shoes” disappears from screen. Screen changes to show the presenter Stephanie Rumble in the centre of the screen.]

Tip 4: 
Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. See their point of view and don’t judge them.  

[Visual: Screen changes to show the presenter Stephanie Rumble on the right-hand side of the screen. The text “Speak the way you want someone to speak to you” appears centrally on the left-hand side of the presenter in large white text. The text “Speak the way you want someone to speak to you” disappears from screen. Screen changes to show the presenter Stephanie Rumble in the centre of the screen.]

Tip 5: 
Speak the way you want someone to speak to you. Stay calm. Speak slowly. Watch your body language. Check your pitch, your tone and the volume of your voice. 

[Visual: Screen zooms out to show the presenter Stephanie Rumble on at a wider angle on the right-hand side of the screen. The text “Five ways to calm down” appears centrally on the left-hand side of the presenter in large bold white text and stays in place. Beneath the text “Five ways to calm down” the text “Recognise your triggers” appears in smaller white text. The text “Recognise your triggers” disappears from screen. Beneath the text “Five ways to calm down” the text “Realise when you’re starting to stress” appears in smaller white text. The text “Realise when you’re starting to stress” disappears from screen. Beneath the text “Five ways to calm down” the text “Take steps to calm down” appears in smaller white text. The text “Take steps to calm down” disappears from screen. Beneath the text “Five ways to calm down” the text “Put yourself in the other person’s shoes” appears in smaller white text. The text “Put yourself in the other person’s shoes” disappears from screen. Beneath the text “Five ways to calm down” the text “Speak the way you want someone to speak to you” appears in smaller white text. The text “Five ways to calm down” and “Speak the way you want someone to speak to you” disappears from screen.]

To recap, five ways to calm down are: 
One, recognise your triggers. Two, realise when you’re starting to stress. Three, take steps to calm down. Four, put yourself in the other person’s shoes. Five, speak the way you want someone to speak to you.   

[Visual: Screen changes to show the presenter Stephanie Rumble in the centre of the screen.]

If you use these tips, not only in business, but also in life, you’ll enjoy all your interactions much more.  

[Visual: Screen changes to show a blue background with the “business.govt.nz” logo in white in centre of the screen. The screen changes to shows a blue background with the “Ministry for Business, Innovation and Employment” logo in white on the left-hand side of the screen. The text “Te Kāwanatanga o Aotearoa New Zealand Government” appears in large white text on the right-hand side of the screen. The video ends on this screen.] 

[Video ends]